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Rants from a UPS driver

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Before i started this job I thought I was a pretty normal person and your avg. person in DC had common sense. Damn if I wasn't wrong on that one. Now mind you the avg home price where i deliver is $750,000+. Here are a few tips to get your shit to you, not get ran the hell over, and not get cursed out by a driver wearing a shit brown uniform.

* Put fucking numbers on your house. How hard is that? I know your college educated. How fucking hard is it to post numbers. Hire someone hell hire me to put em up. And I understand your shit may be getting remodeled. Grab one of those big ass pieces of ply-wood spray some numbers on it and stick it in the front yard.

* Illuminate the fucking lights. Go stand in the middle of the street at night and see if you can see your house numbers. If you cant see them or have to search to find them how in the fuck do you think I can see them?????

* If you see my big ass truck driving down a narrow two way street with cars parked on both sides I PROMISE you you cannot get buy. Not even in a mini cooper on two wheels.

* If you come out and see that your side view mirror is ripped off dont automatically assume it was me. It was probaly the asshole trying to squeeze by me.

* Honking your horn is not going to move my truck. I assure you I already know I'm blocking your path and you blowing your horn constantly is only going to piss me off which in turn is only going to make me take longer to piss you off.

* If you ordered huge shit from pottery barn, west elm, ikea, or overstock.com and I'm nice enough to bring it in your house b/c your weak, old, with child, have broken limb or just plain fucking lazy dont tip me a fucking dollar and think anything else is going to make it to your house on 1st attempt or in one piece.

* Dont bitch because I threw your landsend or j crew package to your door. Its only a fucking shirt calm your nerves.

* Dont tell me you damn life story unless your paying me to listen. I am on a time line. Shut up and just sign.

* Lock up your dog/cat/bad ass kid or whatever else is wild behind your door. If it comes at me I will fuck it up with whatever I can get my hands on to defend myself.

* And dont try to jump in my shit about a package that UPS lost somewhere in transition. I am only a driver I only deliver what they put on my truck. I have not been a driver my whole life and dont think this brown uniform will stop you from getting your ass kicked

* And always remember my truck is bigger than your vehicle. Its raggedy as hell and DOES NOT STOP ON A DIME and never will. Dont cut me off or ride your bike in my path or think you can beat me across the street. I promise you will end up the loser guaranteed


Original Source: best of craigslist: Rants from a UPS driver



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Tags: confessiondeliverydoordriverdrivinghornjoblifenumberspackagestorytruckups

3 Comments

  1. Allie says:

    And this is why I try to avoid online shopping. MOST OF THE FUCKING DRIVERS ARE RUDE AS HELL.
    You deserve to lose your job. THEN let's see how 'horrible' your job is when you are scraping up every dime you can to feed your family/yourself. A lot of people would be grateful to have that one dollar. Congratulations, you are what is wrong with society.

    • bobby says:

      Well you should try working as hard as we do and then yoy can talk shit but until then keep your mouth closed. Exactly everything this driver said is exactly how we get treated. All people does is sit there asses at the house order shit they get paid by us to do it and then we bring it to your house and damn if people still dont complain. I am with this ups driver 100%!!!!! Ive been held up at gun point ive had boxes slapped out of my hand ive been cut off on the road and ive been attacked by dogs twice. Also for the damn numbers on the house yes people do not know how to fucking put them up they espect us to just know which house they are NOT wrong answer people. So yeah come to work with us and you'll see how we feel tring to deliver 100% every day its not fucking easy!!!!

  2. Rebecca P says:

    Wow. None of the delivery drivers who come to my home have such a rotten attitude. Trust me, if they did, I would know it because I am very keen at picking up on attitudes, good or bad. I do treat them with the same respect with which they treat me...it's a win-win. You may think you can make my life miserable, but I can make yours just as miserable if I put my mind to it...at least for as long as you work for UPS. "My" delivery folks all do a great job, whether it be UPS, FedEx, or the USPS. I know their names and am genuinely glad to see them. I always say thanks and try to remember to tell them I appreciate them. I really never thought of tipping them, though I have given a small gift around the holidays if it is a driver whom I see regularly. I will keep that in mind in the future. I am very pleased that you do not deliver to my neighborhood...and I can say that without knowing where you are located because I know I'd recognize your bad attitude. If you really hate your job that much, perhaps you should find a new one.

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  • Before i started this job I thought I was a pretty normal person and your avg. person in DC had common sense. Damn if I wasn't wrong on that one.
  • Here are a few tips to get your shit to you, not get ran the hell over, and not get cursed out by a driver wearing a shit brown uniform.
  • Put fucking numbers on your house and make sure I can read them! If you see my big ass truck on a narrow street, be patient. Honking your horn isn't going to make me move. I don't want to hear your life story. Don't complain to me about a lost package. I'm just the delivery guy. And always remember my truck is bigger than your vehicle.