The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
Choosing Between a Relationship and a Career
It is said that you should never mix love and relationships with your career. More specifically in that saying is the fact that you should never mix business and pleasure together, though most of us tend to ignore that advice. Most employers have policies against dating in the office, while others could not care less, so long as everyone is doing their job. It would seem that love in the office might almost be inevitable. For most workers who are in the office for 40 hours a week, most of the remaining hours are spent at home or running errands. Trying to meet and date people at work definitely makes sense. This comes with its advantages and disadvantages.
There are plenty of people who have no problem going out to meet people, at bars, dance clubs, or online dating websites. People might be lucky enough to be introduced to potential partners by friends or family. Others might just be in the right place, at the right time, such as a grocery store, or the park, and meet the person of their dreams. Plenty of others are unable to meet people, born as introverts and may be even prone to anti-social behavior, though meeting someone is still something they would like to do, although they might prefer to just stay home and opt for Netflix. Unfortunately, getting into a relationship is a lot like playing the lottery: If you never play the game, you have literally a zero percent chance of winning.
Whether you met someone in the office or outside of the office, you happened to fall hard for that person and they fell hard for you. In most cases, if you met the person outside, there may be no issues at all, though sometimes it does arise, specifically for those who serve in the military or are away from home for long periods of time. For those who meet and start dating co-workers, it might be easy to hide the relationship if you two keep a tight-lip and reveal the secret to no one, nor go where anyone in your office goes in your town.
Most people never have to deal with the issues that arise when it comes to work and relationships. Sometimes there are people who get divorced because they feel their spouse is a workaholic and often chooses work over family or love life, but for many others, it is hardly ever the case. There are, however, in rare moments, where people come to a crossroad of having to choose love or a career. Maybe a job requires the person to move, while their significant other may not want to move. The couple may have been high school or college sweethearts and once graduation happened, one person in the relationship feels that they need to move on and beyond what they know. Some jobs require people to be away from home for long periods of time and this may cause issues in the relationship.
Ultimately, it comes down to one question: Relationship or Career?
The question is different than Relationship or Job? For most people working in a mundane job they could easily leave tomorrow, the answer is very clear. The relationship could quite possibly prevail over the job, as most people working in a job are unhappy anyway, and are often looking to move into a better place in their lives, hoping to find their dream job or dream career. However, when it comes between choosing a relationship or a career, the answer is not so cut and dry.
How do you make such a choice? You could argue and write down the pros and cons of each. From being able to find a different career path to even finding another love again. Careers come and go, but love is forever. Maybe this career is the one and there is no other like it. Maybe this love is the only one, as one person comes with a unique set of characteristics, and it is what made you fall in love with them. There is no other in the world like them.
When it comes to relationships, they are a rare find. Sure, you can be in a relationship with anyone, but being in a relationship with someone that you love and someone who loves you is different. To make a connection, find your best friend, love each other, and find someone that actually wants to have sex with you and scratch your back, is definitely magical. Some people might be lucky enough to find that X amount of times in their lives, but for most of us, it happens once or twice, maybe three times, if we are lucky.
When a career threatens the relationship, then you must actually question the relationship. What is it that is causing the rift in the relationship? The long days and nights away from home? Is it the the actual job itself that requires too much danger or a person to make themselves more vulnerable than the average person? Could it be that the career does not pay enough of a living wage to truly sustain the overall well-being of the relationship?
When it comes to careers, they too, are also a rare find. How often do you land a job doing what you love and loving what you do and getting paid to do it? How hard was the job to find and more specifically, what benefits do you receive from working in your career? How long did it take you to find this specific career choice and actually make this career a part of your life? Could you easily find another career like this again, especially if it pays well? Does this career make you happy? Do you get up everyday and look forward to actually going to work?
Women may be more affected, as they are often faced with an extremely tough choice: Career or Family? This really shouldn’t be the case and women should have the opportunity to pursue both, but there are certainly demanding careers that require the complete focus and attention of women centered on the job. There are plenty of women who will choose career over relationship, but there are many more who prefer relationship over career, in hopes to start a family. There are plenty of women who will make both happen in their lifetime, often doing both at once, from having a relationship, jobs, a career, and a family.
When it comes to choosing between a relationship or a career, the answer is not so clear, but hopefully a compromise can be found between the two: Both the relationship and the career make you happy. Both are your dream come true. Why give up either? Maybe there is a possibility to make both work, such as utilizing technology. For example, if you are on the road all the time, than a mobile hotspot and a webcam, or even most smart phones come equipped with a webcam, and can enable you to speak with your spouse, and even fall asleep next to your significant other without being there. There are, of course, some professions that may be completely unacceptable, and may cause immediate breakup. However, when it comes to your happiness, a compromise must be made, and your spouse should be understanding. If not, than the relationship may not be as great as you think it is.
Both a career and a relationship are very possible as many people do it everyday, but both people involved in the relationship must be patient with each other and support each other’s dreams. The payoff will be great and ultimately lead to the happiness for everyone, especially when a relationship and a career are both possible to have. When it comes to your relationship, you must ask yourself: Is your spouse worth it? When it comes to your career, you must ask yourself: Is this career worth it? If the answer is that both are worth it, than find the compromise and figure out how to make both work.