Matthew Gates 16m 3,875 #pornhub
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The Creamer For Women Who Look At Porn
This article is for a mature audience only and contains content that may not be suitable for everyone. Please read at your own discretion.
There have been a series of memes popping up that include Ryan Creamer on PornHub. No, I did not discover this on PornHub, but have seen multiple memes in his honor posted by CollegeHumor, so I actually went to check myself, on PornHub, and sure enough, it is real. Porn has a way of turning reality into fantasy and turn the most professional of situations into a sexual situation. I have written about porn numerous times on Confessions of the Professions. There is nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of, of course. Masturbation is completely healthy in moderation, though if you want to make a day of it, feel free. Just make sure you officially take off from work or wait until the weekend! And if your female friends tell you they have never done it, some of them are probably lying. Now that video above is something all women can easily masturbate to!
I believed that lie too, only to learn that while women are not willing to admit they masturbate, they do, in fact, feel the need to release some stress. This does not mean that all women masturbate, but there are certainly many that do. Men often masturbate to hardcore porn and respond to visual stimulation, as do women. However, women are also known to read erotic literature or use their imaginations and they are able to cum this way as well. Judging from all the romance novels in stores, it is likely that women do endulge in this form of entertainment and pleasure; a pleasure of the mind and ultimately, the body.
So if you have ever been to a porn website, you may (or may not) have noticed that there are hundreds of categories to choose from. Whether you want a college teenager, a mature woman, a Latina, or even an Ebony or Asian woman. You may have a fetish with feet or underwear or even handjobs. There are plenty of categories that endulge in your fantasies, from your hot boss, to your co-workers, or even your teacher. Many men are notorious for turning to porn because their wife won’t do half of the things they see in porn, so there are plenty of “mature wife” videos on there, as well as stepdaughter or stepmother videos.
Porn caters to literally everyone with a fetish and fantasy. You can even find the grosser stuff on there, that I will not and cannot even write on this confession. Use your imagination. I don’t want to use mine. For most people, they understand that porn is a complete fantasy, made on film, usually with a script to be read, or sometimes it is purely or poorly improvised. There are many amateur videos of boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, and even senior citizens enjoying themselves. From all that you see on a porn website, it will cater to whatever gets you off.
Ryan Creamer, a verified porn star on PornHub and has done something that no one else has done, and it is really clever. He actually gets paid too for his videos. Ryan Creamer is not actually a porn star, but a comedian, writer, and performer, and has published quite a few videos that would make any woman have intense orgasms. Ryan Creamer’s porn videos are “soft porn” videos, mostly for women, and may only involve himself, or himself with another person. While I will not link nor encourage anyone to visit PornHub, I will do you one better and publish all of the video memes here, in which Ryan Creamer likely touches upon your fantasies, especially for the ladies.
So this meme follows a porn fantasy where a woman gets stuck, usually when she is looking for something. It may be that she gets stuck under the couch, under the sink, in a playground jungle gym accessory or whatever the case. She somehow appears to either be doing it naked or sometimes she is fully dressed. What follows is that her husband, boyfriend, or just some random “good samaritan” was walking by and sees her, but instead of helping her, he has sex with her, and she enjoys it, so much that she somehow manages to escape her entrapment.
If you aren’t familiar with this black couch, often known as the “casting couch”, it usually involves a woman being interviewed by a man, who is at his desk, and she is trying to break into the porn star business. What usually ensues is her performance. “The black couch and desk” is a scene that most porn addicts know by heart. They know exactly what it looks like and what is coming next, quite literally. But in this case, Ryan Creamer shows us that someone has to clean that couch.
What has grown in serious popularity, although it is often not true, is the portrayal of family members having sex. They are not usually blood related, but it often involves “stepbrother, “stepsister”, “stepmother”, and “stepfather” although how the captions usually play out is by dropping the step part and having a full on fantasy thus truly proving Sigmund Freud’s analysis to be true: all girls secretly desire to be protected by and have sex with their fathers, while all boys secretly desire to protect and have sex with their mothers. In this case, Ryan Creamer simply declines the offer, but thanks you for showing interest.
While the very photo on top of this confession is certainly something all women can masturbate to, it might make you even hornier to know that after you have done your business with your amazing vibrator and have cum, Ryan Creamer will happily tuck you in, so you get that extra level of comfort. What woman doesn’t want to be tucked in? What a great happy ending to the perfect orgasm.
Fake Taxi is quite a popular category to watch on any porn website, in which a woman gets into a Taxi and may not have any money to pay, so she uses what nature gave her to pay for the cab fair, often resulting in a variety of sexual positions. She got her ride and so did the taxi driver.
What woman doesn’t fantasize about her man doing the dishes without her even asking him to do them? A man doing chores. C’mon ladies, get to masturbating to this one!
In many porn videos, it often involves a man and a woman, who are in a gym with exercise equipment and they are doing a light workout that has them hardly sweating. The woman is usually in hot tight Yoga pants, which are about to get torn, so that her Yoga instructor or student can have a go at her.
Honestly, doing a full yoga session and then having sex afterwards? C’mon, you don’t even have to think about it.
Yes please.
What more can I say about Ryan Creamer holding hands with a beautiful black woman as she tells him about her day? What woman wouldn’t want a man to listen to her as she goes on about her day? That is definitely something all women would love.
A pipe broke and it needs fixing, so you call the plumber over to your home and he actually fixes it and charges you a fortune. In porn, it usually ends up being quite different. We hope the pipe gets fixed, but what usually happens is that your pipes definitely may be clogged and the plumber is there to make your fantasies about getting them unclogged come true. Ryan Creamer helps to show you that pipes can be fixed without leading to anything sexual.
You have been desiring your boss at work for months, maybe even years. You want him to just take you on his desk and have his way with you, along with a nice promotion and a pay raise, wouldn’t you? What woman wouldn’t want that? Okay, okay… reality… maybe just the raise and promotion without the sex. In this Ryan Creamer video, he and his employee both happily work alongside one another to run the business and get the job done. Now that’s hot.
Whether porn or a fantasy, everyone loves some good morning sex once in a while. You both have yet to brush your teeth and maybe you might even get lucky and have sex before having to take the daily morning piss. Or maybe you both already went to the bathroom and cleaned yourselves enough so that there are no smelly bits.
And now he’s ready for you to give him his morning blowjob, while you’re ready to get your pussy eaten out, shower with your man, and then have your coffee, so you can start your day with a smile, and hopefully it all only stays as great as your morning sex and breakfast in bed.
Reality often does not let this happen, because you have kids and one of you might be a morning person, but the other one prefers to have sex at night. Ryan Creamer makes your fantasy become a reality though by simply serving you breakfast in bed. Don’t worry, the coffee will come afterwards, and don’t worry, you don’t even have to suck a dick to get an amazing breakfast.
Another popular scenario in porn videos, for some reason, usually happens to be a female real estate agent who is showing off the house to a potential male buyer. Sometimes, the male may be the real estate agent. Considering the house is nearly empty and everything appears nice, why not get it dirty a bit and see what it would be like to have sex inside?
Not Ryan Creamer though! He just wants to show you the property and hopes you really consider purchasing it so he can make his commission and you can start the paperwork to get into your new home!
Ladies. How many times have you come home from work, made dinner, taken care of the kids, did some chores, and now you’re just ready to get into bed and pass out. Then you realize something: your man is rubbing you, giving you kisses, and trying to be a little romantic towards you. With that, you start to feel a buldge coming from under the covers and it is poking into your side. What could that be about? All you really want to do is sleep!
Ryan Creamer lets you know in this video that he sees that you are exhausted and rather than have to worry about sex, he suggests to you he’s ready to cuddle and snuggle with you, with absolutely no hidden intentions. Doesn’t that sound amazing?
The most famous or infamous pizza porn videos. It usually involves a woman ordering pizza, and while I won’t get into the full details about it, for some reason, there’s a hole in the pizza, for a man to, um, stick his, and for her to, um. Well, let’s just say that pizza is probably more enjoyable without a penis poking through it.
Ryan Creamer knows this and brings pizza to you without any holes or a penis in it. There’s only one type of sausage on this pizza and it’s the kind you like. Hot, fresh, and ready, just like you’re going to be after you’ve had your pizza.
A common fantasy, including my own, from being a teenager in high school, and having at least one hot teacher, was that she would give me detention and during detention, tell me that I was a bad boy, spank me, suck me, and then have sex with me. I know, I know. I was a horny teenager. What can I say?
In this video, school is in session and Ryan Creamer teaches the student the lesson for the day, and life goes on. No detention. No sex-related motives. There may be homework though.
Well, if you have a child, chances are, you know exactly what a creampie is. That is the name given in porn for when a man ejaculates into a woman, and it creates a “creamy” look to it. It is a hot fantasy for almost every man to “cream” or cum inside of a woman. Smart men pull out. Smart women use contraception, either with birth control, or a condom, and make him pull out.
However, in this case, Ryan Creamer bakes a pie and adds whipped cream to it, making it a delicious creampie. Who doesn’t want a nice creampie for dessert after dinner? I know you do!
A wierd yet recurring porn fantasy is to have sex with another person by a sleeping friend or family member. This type of fantasy can range from the person remaining asleep, pretending to be asleep, or waking up, and joining in. Hardly ever is it considered rude in porn to have sex with someone else while someone else is sleeping. However, there was that one time in college, where I shared a room with someone, and woke up to him having sex with his girlfriend. I did not join in, but if he asked, I probably would have. The reality was that they kept having sex, while I pretended to be asleep, until they were done, and then I woke up and pretended to know nothing.
In this video, however, Ryan Creamer and his female friend, read a book while their friend sleeps in the bed with them. Why their friend is in the bed with them is a whole other story, but fortunately in this case, they are both just reading a book. And what woman doesn’t have a fantasy about being able to start and finish a book without interruption? More importantly, if your friend is sleeping in the bed with you and your man, it’s probably the best thing you both can do to not wake the sleeper up.
For some reason, this video has $100.00 under it. But that’s not important, what is important is Ryan Creamer telling you that he loves you. And by the way, you can watch thousands of porn videos, and even listen in on the dialogue. It is extremely rare, save for maybe an amateur homemade video, to hear the words, “I love you”. So that is definitely something you can masturbate to!
While the common scenario is not that a woman drops money, but rather, a man will walk up to a random woman. In reality, she is an actress, an amateur porn star or beginner, who has already been paid, but she’s acting. So in this case, he walks up to her, asks her about herself, and sees if she’s interested in making money. She is often curious about how much money he has to offer. In reality, almost all women do have a price for which they would be more than willing to have sex with a random stranger. Or is that still fantasy?
Anyway, in this video, a woman drops some money, and Ryan Creamer lets her know that she dropped her money, and he’s returning her money to her. What a very kind man and a great non-porn.
In porn videos, and in many fantasies, it is the desire for many young men to play video games. There is not much else that captures a young man’s attention, except maybe a girlfriend and her desire for sex. He may start out by playing video games, and his girlfriend soon enters the room and expresses her desire to be fucked. He continues playing, ignoring her, and then she starts removing her clothes and proceeds to pull out his penis. She then sucks it and will do whatever she has to do to get that dick inside of her. Another version of this is for the female gamers, in which they are playing the video game, and their man walks by, and wants to have sex, and she continues to presumably be pre-occupied by the video game, while he fucks her.
Ryan Creamer, however, plays a video game by himself, unhibited and with no distractions.
Hollywood makes shower sex look amazing. In porn, sex shower scenes look awesome too, as the shower is usually gigantic and there’s enough room for everyone to be under the water or at least, look like they are comfortable in the shower enough for sex.
In reality, however, shower sex is great for a quickie or if you both just want to keep the sheets clean, but someone is cold, and oftentimes both people are crammed into this small fiberglass shower. Checking out a few pornographic amateur videos of shower sex often reveals that couples experience the same issue and one has to stand outside of the shower, while the other sticks her ass out of the shower.
Fortunately in this video, Ryan Creamer enjoys a shower by himself. Makes you want to take a shower… all by yourself. Just have a few minutes and some time and you can even masturbate in the shower!
There are different ways that porn websites make money with their primary source of income often coming from subscriptions to “higher premium content” that is not found on the free version of the website. With hundreds of thousands of subscribers, porn websites are usually in business. As an additional way to make money, they will often display advertisements, on either side of the video, or within the video itself. These ads often include “hot singles looking for sex in your area.”
In this video, Ryan Creamer bakes cookies for the hot singles in your area.
Believe it or not, the reason why the Internet is fast, besides NASA needing to download petabytes of data on the galaxy and stars, is because of porn videos and webcams. Often associated with “webcam” is that it is a place to see girls take off their clothes and strip. However, everyday millions of people are webcamming, usually on FaceTime or Google Hangouts or Skype. This interaction is usually not sexual, but it can be!
On PornHub, Ryan Creamer has a short conversation with Melrose, who happens to be a porn star, and it is not sexual.
For most people, especially men, the call is on. We are horny. But we’re not just any horny. We are craving something, a desire to satisfy the urge of a sexual fantasy. While we would prefer to have it in real life, oftentimes, our situation may not allow for it, as we may be single, married to a woman who does not want to act out sexual fantasies, or just don’t have access to anyone who will perform that sexual fantasy with us.
To make up for it, we turn to a porn video, to look for our favorite porn star, a favorite scene, a doppleganger, or a favorite act, such as anal, feet play, or sixty-nine. Whatever the case may be, we do not realize how much time this might take, but it adds up. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. A half hour. In this video, Ryan Creamer actually helps you look for that one video that will help you masturbate and cum.
We all have our “craving” that we turn to before or even after sex. For some, it might be coffee, a cigarette, some chocolate. I personally prefer a red gatorade and cottage cheese, but in this video, Ryan Creamer is offering you some water.
In porn videos, to men, there is something that goes off in our brains when we see a woman using a toy to masturbate. While there are some men who aren’t into it and might be jealous, there are plenty others who want you to bring your toys into the bedroom and even use them while he’s inside of you. Yup, it is amazing!
Now what woman doesn’t want to see Ryan Creamer playing with toys?
If you are familiar with porn, it does not involve a whole lot of talking, unless it’s a porn movie with a backstory. In this video, Ryan Creamer is just listening to you, talking about you, your goals, your aspirations. Keep talking. This is round two! How many men are instantly ready for that?! This is definitely a video all women can masturbate to, at least, after they are done talking.
Seriously, did he just cum, and roll over? Now you are left to clean up his mess? In this video, Ryan Creamer has the courtesy to offer you a towel so you can wipe out the creampie.
In porn videos, where a college jock is involved, usually means there are horny cheerleaders or a nerd who has always dreamed of the jock fucking the shit out of her. As her reward for allowing him to fuck her, isn’t that her jacket now?
For Ryan Creamer, he knows you’re cold, and he wants you to feel warm. That’s all.
Finally, this one is for the lesbians, bi-curious, and girls “who experimented in college”, and if you’re not a lesbian and have never heard of it, it’s called scissoring. Lesbians may also engage in acts with dildos in which they proceed to “fuck” each other, sometimes even with a double-sided dildo so that it brings them both pleasure. It is quite fascinating to watch if you haven’t seen it and looks very enjoyable. Scissoring can also involve a man.
In this video, the perfect scissoring cutout make a lot of women come to see what all this scissoring fuss is about. If you have not done so already, you may want to invite a friend to scissor with you, as Ryan Creamer shows you how to make the perfect scissor cutout.
Porn is a billion dollar industry that takes sexual fantasy very seriously and turns it into your reality so you can watch it. There are millions of the videos around the Internet and thousands more are added each day. Almost every person discovers porn between the ages of 12-15. Everything on a porn website is there for a reason: it’s all about sex. Whether you like amateur videos, threesome videos, group videos, bukkake videos, anal videos, Latina videos, Russian videos, German videos, etc. There is something for everyone! If you have one fantasy or dozens, or you have a weird fetich, it is likely you will find it.
While Ryan Creamer’s videos are not usually on the immediate line-up, they are still funny to watch and what he has come up with is very clever. It is nice to see someone who needed a job and came up with a clever idea: porn without the porn. Sometimes, a woman just wants to be complimented, receive flowers, and feel that she is loved. This is actually the fantasy of many women, even if they don’t masturbate to it, it definitely makes them feel good.
Happy Valentine’s Day ladies! And if you are single, hopefully you just finished masturbating to this article. Heck, even if you’re in a relationship, now you’re ready. You’re welcome, gentlemen.
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