Stephanie Snyder https://wellin5.ca 4m 1,054 #mentalhealth
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
IMAGE SOURCE: PEXELS
We want to talk about our current mental health and our loved ones. Not just immediate family but our friends too. But how do you begin the conversation exactly? It can be daunting to do when you haven’t seen or shared some time with that friend in a while.
Texts or calls from others around you might seem better to ignore if you don’t know exactly what to say or how to begin an in-depth conversation through a cold channel, as texts or instant messaging can be. Or how to suggest an honest discussion about emotions and feelings might be meet with a cold shoulder and discourage any other attempt to keep going.
Often, a short explanation that might sound funny is more comfortable to say, and it usually cuts any other attempt to have a real conversation. It sounds better than to tell anyone, “I cannot stop weeping,” “I’m struggling hard at finding any meaning in my life,” or “I can’t get away from my house without a panic attack.”
Witnessing a friend struggling with their mental health can be very trying. You want them to feel better, but you don’t just want to give them empty phrases like “Keep your chin up.” To show your support to your friends, you need to provide them with a chance to express themselves. These are three questions that can help their mental health.
Do You Want to Talk About It?
Before delving into mental health discussions with your friends, you need to make sure they’re comfortable with talking about them. Some people love to blow off steam and talk about their problems. However, others prefer to keep issues to themselves or discuss them with a trained therapist. The hope is your friend will open up, but there’s no guarantee.
If your friend doesn’t want to talk about what they’re going through, you need to accept that. Even if they’re ordinarily open with these kinds of things, they might be dealing with things they don’t quite know how to verbalize or don’t feel comfortable with sharing quite yet. Let them know that you’re there for them if they change their mind. This shows you understand how to establish boundaries in a friendship.
It’s great if they agree, but you also need to let them set the terms of the conversation. They should decide if they want you to offer advice or listen. If you have something on your mind, ask them if they’d like to hear it. Remember only to share things that you believe will benefit them.
What’s Been Going On?
Your questions need to be open-ended, as they give your friend more room to talk about what’s going on. If you ask them if they’re okay, they might say yes to quickly end the conversation or say no without elaboration. Asking them what’s going on lets them avoid polarity in responses.
Their answer could be about their mood or about things that have been affecting their mood. By expressing these, they may draw connections between things that have been happening and their moods. They can also benefit from releasing themselves from the burden of keeping things bottled up inside them for too long. This can clear the air and let them see what exactly they’re up against. Sometimes, it can feel like everything is going wrong. However, the likely truth is that there are just a few things that need to be handled.
If they want to hear from you, be as neutral as possible. Ask follow-up questions, ones that cause them to evaluate their thought process and some of the conclusions they jump to. For example, if they say their family hates them, ask them how they know. They may have a few negative anecdotes to bring up, but that wouldn’t be enough to prove their claim. Don’t try to prove they’re wrong by their logic. Just create conditions for them to reach important epiphanies by themselves. This could also help them realize they need therapy. Assist them by researching online counselling Canada with them.
How Can I Help?
If you’re unsure of how to help your friend, ask them. It could be that your listening and spending time with them is enough. However, your help could come in handy in other ways, and ones that you specifically are best-equipped to handle.
Maybe you have a knack for cooking, and your friend is craving a particular recipe. To help them through the blues. Perhaps you’re their favorite person to go on a bike ride with. Knowing you’re offering their services could help them feel less isolated.
However, it could also be that they feel reluctant to ask for help. If you know your friend to be pretty shy, help them without asking. Please don’t do anything that would put them in an uncomfortable situation, like forcing them to go out when dealing with social anxiety. Just find a way to spread some joy, even doing it anonymously.
Don’t ask these questions with expectations for a specific answer or outcome. Everyone handles mental health in separate ways, and your friends shouldn’t feel pressured or rushed. Let this be a time to listen and learn both about your friends and about yourself.
It Starts With You
Recognizing when you struggle with your emotions regarding the current pandemic or any other topic is sometimes a struggle. Still, it is the first step to helping others; it may be overwhelming to make an effort to face your thoughts, emotions, fears, etc., and even a more incredible difficulty to let another person into those feelings.
Type it down
Take a minute to reflect and talk about what you thought. Journaling will help you plan and give you a better picture of what you want and feel. Once you have your mind to create an outline for your discussion with your chosen person, you are not confused or lost when you move your inner talk into an actual conversation with another individual.
Breathe
Take some deep breaths and do your best to calm yourself before you begin the discussion. While the dialog may sound scary, it always sounds worse in our heads than in reality; and the benefits of checking on yourself and others just by opening the dialogue will be a reward on its own.
(
