Anonymous 1m 182
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
Selling Heavily used, Antique, Non Functioning Government. Government quit working a while back, no one has been able to fix it. Currently requires obscene operating costs and multiple pointless individuals to manage it. Comes with own judicial system, executive branch and legislative branch, also comes with multiple pointless redundancies and non functioning programs. Commonly disrespects own laws and rarely accomplishes anything with a point. Contact Chinese Government for payment plan, asking price 17.2 trillion to cover previous operating expenses and debts. May need new parts including, President, Vice President, Congress, Senate, House of Representatives and multiple other replacements. Parts are easy to find and cheap to apply, must offer salaried position to each part and promise them they are safe and more important than other employees of governments. If shutdown occurs again please make sure to feed congress and president or else they will get pissy and throw a fit. Please do not feed after midnight and keep away from water, may cause gremlin like destruction of country.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Original Source: Selling Heavily Used Non-Functioning Government