Matthew Gates 3m 814 #askyourcrushout
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
The Repercussions Of Fearing Your Crush
Moon Baby, an awesome song by Godsmack. It is a rough song, isn’t it? It was meant to be. But it is a great song for what we all feel when we see our soulmate, our crush, and we let them slip by. Where do I even begin with this one? Love is one of the most complicated things in the world and you start to develop feelings at a young age without ever truly understanding your feelings. Then one day, you start learning that there are boys and there are girls. Boys and girls have different parts. But then you start noticing girls. And you start noticing boys. That is when you realize: you start feeling attractions to the same or the opposite sex.
You are young and a dumb kid who doesn’t know anything and then the next moment: you start to notice the girls you like. You start to understand what it is you like about them. Funny. Freckles. Voice. Skin. Hair. Eyes. Mouth. Breasts. Butt. Legs. Arms. Everything about them is attractive. You really like the way they look or the way they are. You don’t understand these feelings or why, but they are just there.
As you make friends, you start to notice that you tend to hang out with more of the same-sex friends than the opposite. Girls start to become alien to you if you are male. Boys become alien to you if you are a female. As you age, you start to notice the females you really like, but what does that even mean? And how do you attract them?
Over time, you learn this from your friends, your parents, television, the Internet and it still always remains unclear. As much information as there is, it’s still confusing. You might ask a girl out with a push from your father or brother or friend. Some of us never had that push and we just never got it until it was too late or we just went with the flow of whatever the case may be.
As we start to grow older, we start to understand what it is we want in a mate. We prefer the characteristics of a best friend, someone to confide in, someone to understand us, someone to care about us, but most importantly, the bond of loving us beyond what anyone else could ever do.
There is something that happens to us when we are younger: either we fear or we get over those fears early. Fear is what makes a crush a crush. Fearing to talk with your crush, fearing to ask your crush out, fear of everything they might say or do, is the ultimate fear of rejection. Once you can move past this rejection, you can move on with your life and realize that things will either work out or they won’t.
Asking AND Failing to ask your crush in fear of rejection will damage you for the rest of your life.
Asking will do less damage than failing to ask for fear that you may get rejected. Ask and you shall receive your answer almost no matter what. Asking removes doubt. Asking removes wonder. Asking removes hope. Asking removes any reason to “hold on” to that person. But when you don’t ask, than all of these things linger and can destroy your life. Even if you meet, “fall in love with”, and marry someone else. It doesn’t matter.
By not asking your crush out, you not only have to live with the regret, but everything else that comes with it. A lifetime of believing that had you just asked, your life may have been a different way. Maybe it was meant to be that you didn’t get a chance with your crush, but maybe it was meant to be. Don’t let your crush slip by your life. Don’t be scared of them. They aren’t afraid of you. Ask them out. Get to know them. Interview them to understand what they like and don’t like. You’ll be better off in the long run and instead of living with a lifetime of regret, you will get to live a lifetime of knowing the answer, and being able to move on.
Think of it this way: if you ever want to know if your crush is compatible with you: invite them to a game of chess or another fun game. If they can hold a conversation with you over the course of the game and you feel comfortable around each other, than maybe, just maybe — you should give it a shot. It is far better than a lifetime of wonder which is just a lifetime of suffering within your own mind. If it works out, great. If not, than it wasn’t meant to be with that person.