Matthew Gates 6m 1,405 #changingthepast
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
If You Could Change Your Past, Would You?
Confessions Audio:
It is a question people get asked every so often, and there are some people who feel they would change so many things in their past, while there are plenty of other people who would change nothing. Life is a series of events that are both good and bad, most of it is subjective to the experience of the person, while looking at the situation objectively from another perspective, it is just life happening and the reaction of the person.
Here are several situations of things happening. While reading these next few paragraphs, put yourself in their situation and ask yourself: Would you do anything different?
A person who spills coffee on their pants, as they are headed to work, and returns back to the house to change those pants may not have realized that if they had continued on their path to work with the coffee-stained pants, they may have gotten into the accident because another person ran a stop sign, because that person also spilled coffee on their pants as they were also on their way to work. Since the person returned back to the house, the other person still did run the stop sign, but no accidents occurred because the person was not there to get hit, because they were still inside changing their pants.
A person who decided to put off a few years of real life work experience for college may make out about the same as another person who decided to go to work and not attend college, yet both people worked their way up the ladder, enjoy their jobs, and are making about the same salary, with one starting earlier than the other, and ending up making about the same amount of money, and living about the same type of lifestyle.
A woman decided that she wanted to be a mother and a wife, rather than go to work full-time or establish a career, in agreement with her husband, who felt that it was a wife’s duty to stay home and raise the children. She opted not to go to college, not to have work experience, but to simply live how she felt all women used to live back in the old days. She is not swayed by the feminist movement because she feels her duty is to stay at home and raise her family.
A man is given the choice of two jobs: One with a great salary but very hard work that he does not enjoy and another job with work that he loves to do, but the pay is not so great. He opts for the lesser paying job, but enjoys going to work, doing his job, and feels that he is not really working when he goes to work.
A woman is given the opportunity to advance in her career with better pay, but more hours, or opt for the other option of working more flexible hours so she can spend more time with her family, but with the same pay. She opts to work more flexible hours with the same pay and more time to spend with her family.
A woman has the choice between two men she is casually dating: A man who loves her, who is like a best friend to her, is not particularly rich, but she can be herself around him. The other man is very wealthy and will give her anything she desires, in daily allowances, but does not have much in common with her, treats her like she is a trophy, and expects her to act, behave, and look a certain way. She chooses the man who loves her.
While these are just made-up situations, they all most likely have happened to people out there. All these people have made choices in their lives and usually what is done cannot be undone. Would they change their situations? If you were in their positions, would you change yours?
The person who spilled coffee on their pants could have continued on to work and had an even worse day, had he not returned home to change his pants. The person who decided to go to college and the person who decided not to go to college ended up in the same position, though they both have had different experiences in their lives. The woman who decided to be a mother and a wife and not establish a career felt she was doing her duty as a woman by raising a family with her husband instead of focusing on a career. The man who decided to opt for the job he enjoyed, rather than the higher pay might be enjoying life and work more, though he could have been making more money, but been miserable doing it. As for the woman who chose not to make more money, but have to work more hours, gets to spend more time with her family. Finally, the woman who chooses the man who is not rich, but is like her best friend, and loves her, finds out that they will struggle in their relationship, with finances and common relationship issues, but she and him share so much more in common and she feels more comfortable around him, and best of all, she can be herself.
There are many everyday situations that call for us to make tough choices and we make more decisions each and every day of our lives that can affect us in the short-term or the long-term. I personally opted for less money to work a job that I absolutely love, than work a higher paying more stressful job, and so far, no regrets.
When you look back on your life, there are plenty of decisions that you have made that you think you should regret, but when you really analyze your situation, regardless of whether you are in a good or bad position in your life at this current time, the truth is that no matter what situation you are in, you can change it. No situation lasts forever and every situation and problem that you are faced with eventually makes you a stronger and better person for it.
There may be even times where you must make sacrifices, either for yourself, a loved one, family, or friends, that require you to give up something or go the extra mile and be selfless. These situations make you who you are and define who you choose to be at this present moment and in your future.
One day, you may choose to give to charity, while another day, you may be having a bad day, and choose not to donate anything to charity. Are you a bad person for not giving on this particular day? Probably not because you were just having a bad day! If you choose to ignore giving to charity or doing something nice for someone all the time, than that might just be the type of person you are and choose to be.
Many people who have been divorced might opt for changing their past, wishing, praying, and hoping they could change things, but for those with kids: Most of them come to realize that changing anything would affect their children being or not being born. My own parents, who have been divorced for over 20 years, have no regrets in meeting each other and having children, as their lives would be very different had they not had their children.
If you look back on your past and you change even just one thing, you will change everything in your present and your future. With the warning that nothing currently in your present will be the same if you affect the past, there are still some people who would definitely go for changing something in the past.
The majority, however, might think about changing their past, only to realize what I have come to realize: I am where I am now because of my choices in the past. I have no regrets because my choices then have made me who I am now, and while I am far from perfect, I have done my best to get to where I am today in my life. I make a choice to be the person I am today, not because of my past, but because of my own choice.
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