The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
The greatest gift a parent could ever give their child is teaching on how to survive without them. There is a phenomenon going on that is far different than the way the world used to be. A great majority of children left home around 16 – 18 years old, but times are changing, and while the child may leave home, go off to college, to “be an adult”, they sometimes do return home. The fault lies more with women who are mothers than fathers, especially single mothers.
This strange obsession with a mother not allowing her children to grow up or move beyond her own circle is often seen when she has sons. This is even more apparent when they become gamers or have special needs, in which case, they may need to stay home longer, if they ever leave home at all. It is these mothers who often baby their sons to the point where their sons never experience girlfriends or even having the idea of leaving their mothers.
The bond is strong and oftentimes, the child is never forced to leave home, because why would a mother do this to her child? The child never learns what it is like to go out into the world, which has become harder to live in as of 2022, with rent and food and gas prices increasing. It seems as if the child will never leave home. However, the greatest gift that parents can give their children is to teach them how to survive on their own, as one day, their parents will not be able to provide anything for them, as they will be gone themselves.
Parents may think that coddling their children well into their 30s or even 40s is a good idea, but this often leads to divorces amongst a couple, where one side may see it is as time for their child to grow up, and get their own place. The longer they remain at home, the less chance they have of understanding how to survive in this world without the help of their parent or parents. Unfortunately, it is becoming the norm, and while there isn’t anything wrong with it per se, it may lead to a decrease in the population, which might just be a good thing.
If your child never leaves home, they may never have an opportunity to meet someone or feel they are independent. Their dependence may lie solely on their parents which may not always be an attractive feature for someone looking for their partner. It is a good idea to discuss with your child expectations for when they turn 18, 21, and 25. You may disagree with me and your child is welcome to stay home as long as they want.
My own mother refused to kick me out, but it was the tensions between my mother and my younger brother that drove me to leave home, and I used studying at university as an excuse to move out and to another state. I have no regrets, and it’s been over 15 years since I’ve lived at home. My story is not everyone’s story, but the push of acceptance for your child to move out is a gift to give them, a show that you are ready for them to flap their wings and also the display that you raised your children with the survival skills they will need to navigate this world with and without you.
