When Disney Owns Our Childhood And Adulthood

Anonymous 2m 590

The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.

– 1995: Disney buys ABC
– 2006: Disney buys Pixar
– 2009: Disney enters 30 film deal with Dreamworks
– 2009: Disney buys Marvel
– 2012: Disney buys Lucasfilms
– 2015: Disney buys National Geographic
– 2017: Disney buys 21st Century Fox
– 2018: Disney buys Hulu
– 2019: Disney releases Disney Plus
– 2022: Disney buys Universal Studios
– 2023: – 2025: Disney buys Dreamworks
– 2026: Disney buys Sony. Playstation rebranded as Disney Infinity. Playstation Network rebranded as Disney Universe.
– 2028: Disney attempts to buy Warner Bros, Warner Bros says no.
– 2028: Disney, tries to buy WB through shell corporations. WB finds out and gets hostile.
– 2030: Buys Apple. Apple Watch rebranded as the Mickey Watch.
– 2031: The Church of Baby Yoda is the fastest growing religion in the world.
– 2031: Disney acquires a private military, starts corporate espionage on a large scale.
– 2032: Disney storms headquarters of Warner Bros. Few die because of the electronic surveillance provided by the “Apple” products most employees of WB use.
– 2033: Disney buys DC comics. Mickey Mouse is now more powerful than Superman.
– 2034: Disney owns the majority of the copyrighted material. Buys off US, EU, and other major powers to honor unlimited copyright for corporate ownership.
– 2035: Disney buys Microsoft. Disney Universe is now expanded further. Master Chief is now a Disney Princess.
– 2038: In the midst of negotiations, for takeover, Google launches escape craft. Departs solar system. Destination unknown.
– 2040: Counter Disney efforts take place. The War on the Black Market starts.
– 2041: Disney claims that Black Market efforts are headed up by small studios. Starts forced corporate takeovers.
– 2042: “Terrorist” attacks on Disney starts.
– 2045: Nuclear explosion destroys Orlando Florida. Black Market Terrorists blamed.
– 2046: Hollywood turns into a war zone. All releases for the next 10 years are CGI due to die off of actors. Disney “Farms” start to raise next generation of actors.
– 2050: Disney buys the United States of America
– 2051: The Disney States of America is born.
– 2052: Disney nukes Hollywood
– 2055: Disney States of America annex’s Canada. South Park, an underground resistance to the DSN, releases an episode on the black market deriding the move. It’s #1 most viewed South Park Episode of all time.
– 2056: Creators of South Park are declared Terrorists. Manhunt starts.
– 2057: Mexico resists annexation due to the cartels banding together.
– 2058 – 60: War in Mexico results in eventual annexation. South America becomes hot bed of resistance.
– 2061: EU integrates into the DSA. Disney State of the World is born.
– 2062: The UK joins DSW. BBC is acquired. Doctor Who is now a Disney Princess.
– 2065: DSW colonizes the Moon.
– 2067: The Moon has its own government under the DSW. The Disney States of the Universe is born
-2069: Mars colonization efforts start. Political prisoners used for the initial efforts
– 2074: The First Mars Civil War starts. Is put down quickly due to orbital strikes
– 2080: Mars colonization finalized. Disney Land Mars is opened.
– 2083: First mission to Titan is sent out
– 2086: Proposal for interstellar mission submitted.
– 2088: Second Mars Civil War starts.
– 2090: The Creators of South Park are discovered to be behind the rebellion on Mars. Pluto Team 6 is sent out and they are dispatched.
– 2091: Final resistance is quashed. Construction on Deathstar starts.
– 2092: Total annexation of all remaining world governments is successful except for Switzerland.
– 2094: First faster than light travel occurs. Exploration of close star systems starts.
– 2097: Budding civilizations are found. Monoliths are used to “re-educate” the populations. Those planets are Annexed into the DSU.
– 2100: Disney announces new X-Men movie. Marvel fans are excited.