The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
This article has been deemed for a mature audience.
Coming home from work early. Wondering why your spouse is on a vacation without you and with someone else. Knowing something feels very wrong and your spouse is acting very weird when questioned. It is one of the most painful experiences anyone could ever know. To catch someone you trusted with another person; to catch them being unloyal, unfaithful, and in an utmost selfish act. With shows like “Cheaters” and talk of “open relationships”, it might seem all too common that there are cheaters amongst us. Cheating or having an affair with another person or having a committed relationship while already in a relationship with someone else is severely frowned upon and is not something anyone should consider doing.
Once upon a time, it was my biggest fear to meet the woman of my life, the love of my life, and to catch her cheating on me. Fortunately, as I got older, those fears were squashed when I realized I would just lay out the rules clear and simple: If you want to cheat on me because you are unhappy about something in the relationship, than leave beforehand. Don’t do it while we are in an active relationship together. You don’t have to tell me why you are leaving. You don’t have to have any explanation. Don’t expect to come back afterwards, though. Don’t expect to keep the house or share any of the finances any longer. You can pretty much just let me know that things are not working out and while I will try to reconcile and offer suggestions about how we can improve our relationship, if it has gotten that far, it is too gone.
Cheating is the ultimate disrespect. How could one possibly save themselves after that? How could one ever lie in that bed again with a cheating spouse? Unfortunately, there are many people out there, who have caught their spouses cheating and there are two or three outcomes: 1) they end up giving their spouse another chance, 2) they are gone immediately, or 3) (hopefully no one resorts to this) there could be violence involved. Some people have gone to work and got to leave work early and arrived home, only to catch their spouse having an affair and committing a great and dire sin: the act of adultery. What could possibly be his or her excuse when they say, “I can explain” or “It’s not what it looks like.” It is exactly what it looks like: two people are fucking and one of them is not you, the one who caught them.
Your initial reaction is to beat up the person your spouse is cheating on you with, and you are entitled to get a few punches and kicks in there because this person is the one who ruined your relationship or marriage. However, next it may seem logical for you to go after your spouse and blame them, and of course, they deserve it. Once you do come your senses: the choice will be yours of either kicking them to the curb and never looking back or taking them back. Remember that if they did it once, they can and probably will do it again. If you do not fix what caused them to cheat in the first place, it will happen again. It is not a good feeling at all to catch a cheating spouse, but the amount of disrespect that occurs in that initial transfer from it happening to actually seeing it means… it may be time for you to move on to better things and better people.
