Anonymous 10m 2,517 #lovemywife
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
The Love Of My Life, My Wife
When I was younger, I had been somewhat sheltered from the reality of marriage. I had grown up with both parents, whom seemed to love each other, and although they did fight, they spent time together, took their children on vacations, and made sure their children had everything. Both parents would do anything for their children and that was the problem.
While my parents seemed to love us very much, they were growing apart. Their marriage had led to having several children and even their children were not the sole focus. It seemed that both my parents were actually workaholics who held several jobs: My dad held two jobs, a primary and a side job.
My mother was working multiple jobs throughout the day, running her own business, substitute teaching, and even getting paid to children to school. They both would work plenty of side jobs and made a comfortable living. My siblings and I never suffered or went without. Some years were rougher than others and my parents, and money was tight, but my parents always made sure that their children were content and happy.
Unfortunately, as the years passed, their marriage was suffering and after 15 years, many of which my father was sleeping on the couch, and my parents barely had a loving relationship; it was like two people just tolerating each other until they could divorce. Yet still, despite all the misery that was going on, my parents made sure we were comfortable, and we were all blanketed under the comfort of a cruise, while my mother packed up and moved our things out of the house, and divorced my father. While I could go into more details about their divorce, this is not the article I will do that.
I would rather focus on what I learned: Being in love with your wife.
If there is anything my parents taught me, it was that most people spend far too many years married and miserable. They would prefer to be married and miserable than single and lonely. I had chosen the other path: I was single and lonely, but there was comfort in it for many years, until I would find the love of my life, who would eventually become my wife.
In my young adult years, I would come to ask many girls out and always ended up in the Friend Zone. I grew to believe that I was to live in a house of cards. No girl could ever want me and that was the way it was. If anything happened to stick and I actually went out with a girl, there would be no real chemistry. I accepted this and planned to live a life of solitude. There are plenty of people who do it, have no one, and live comfortably and just fine the way they are.
My siblings and I joked that none of us would ever be married nor could we even see ourselves as being married. It was just not a reality to us. Who could ever love us? Sure, my sister had her boyfriend at the time and my brother had his girlfriend at the time, eventually both would be the ex, as both relationships did not work out. It was not meant to be and it was never going to happen. That was our thoughts and remained even after I had been in a relationship.
All I knew was that the girl who chose me and loved me was in for a surprise: I would be the man to love, honor, and cherish her with all my heart. Unfortunately, she would have to work hard for this, as my trust in women was not great. I had heard of and even witnessed both men and women cheating on their partners. I had never actually had it happen to me, but the possibility was there.
Being a Scorpio, and for those who may not know, most of us have many deeper and darker qualities. We make excellent lovers and give our all. We can be selfish at times, but we can be extremely giving. It is hard to earn our trust and gain our friendship, but once you do, you will have the most loyal friend in the world. Unfortunately for the friend of a Scorpio: Once you break the trust of a Scorpio, you will have to work your entire life to earn it back.
The Scorpio may give you a second chance and you should be honored to have that privilege. Once you break that trust a second time… first time – shame on you, second time – shame on me, third time – there is no third time. The list of features for Scorpios goes on and on. Scorpios are most compatible with other Scorpios.
I went through high school and college, mostly girlfriend-less, but throughout that time, I had the opportunity to listen and befriend many girls who bestowed upon me their secrets and all that I could learn for how to be in a relationship, how to be romantic, and most importantly, how to communicate. It was not until a year after college, that I would meet the woman of my dreams.
I hesitate to say the girl of my dreams, because she was far more than that. She was actually a woman who wanted to date me, talk to me, make love to me, and be around me. Yes, it was a very confusing time for me. How could this woman be in love with me? I met her at work. I won’t get into the entire story, but I had an interview at a job, and once the interview was over, I had asked the secretary up front if I could use her phone to call my brother to pick me up, as I did not have a car at the time. That would seal our fate.
She knew there was something different about me right then and there. I had no interest in her and I certainly had no idea she was interested in me. For the next few months, I would hear her laughing in the office, and I would always walk to her, and lay my hands on her hands, asking her if she could warm my hands up. I knew I was flirting casually, but my hands were really actually cold and I wanted her to warm them up. If this was unwanted, I’m sure she could have pushed me off, filed a complaint for unwanted touching or sexual harassment, but she would put her hands on mine and warm them up.
There was nothing sexual about it and I certainly had no intentions with her at first. She had tattoos and she smoked! I could never be with someone who had that many tattoos and who smoked. Little did I know that I was completely wrong about people with tattoos: Don’t judge a tattoo or a person by their covers!
Their tattoos represents symbols and stories that tattooed people like to have as reminders for deeper meanings. While a tattoo certainly has everything to do with a person’s personality, it certainly does not always define who they are at that current moment. A person at 18 who got a tattoo of a skull is probably not the same person at 40, who still has that skull tattoo.
Anyways, I would only spend a few minutes a day with her and then I would return back to my desk. She would always laugh though, and that always made me return back to her. I loved that laugh. I loved hearing it and it was so contagious that it made me laugh. It meant that someone in the office found some humor in the stressful and dull workday. Her personality certainly complimented it. That was when my attraction for her really began. It evolved to being attracted to both her mind and her body.
One night she had asked me to hang out and I casually laughed it off, telling her that would be great, but it never materialized into anything because I did not think she was serious. I had been so used to rejection that I no longer took any girl serious anymore. I had been blind to see what was right in front of me. It may have also been that I was not really attracted to her at the time, because her smoking habit turned me off. I figured we could be friends at the office, but it would probably be nothing more.
One day, I was working, it was my birthday, and she sent me an instant message asking me what I liked: cake or cookies. I forgot it was my birthday and answered: I don’t know, I like both. Why do you ask? An hour later, she and the entire office brought me cake and cookies. It was a big surprise because when I had worked at jobs previously on my birthday, no one ever did anything like that. She was the one who made it happen.
As it was closing time and we were headed out, she asked me what I was doing on my birthday. I told her I was going to be hanging out with all the friends I did not have. I added that I was just kidding and that if she wanted to do something, that I would love to go out with her for a drink. We ended up going to a bar and she was completely into me. I couldn’t believe it! This woman was actually giving me the time of day.
I started to see her in an attractive manner. How could I have been blind for the past few months? She had been into me and she was really beautiful, yet I just was so focused on living life and being set in the mindset that I would be a single guy for the remainder of my life.
I bought her and myself drink and we talked about our interests, our favorite shows, our hobbies, etc. Then she returned the favor and bought me and herself drinks. Afterwards, we headed outside, and stood in the slightly cold fall weather for what seemed like hours, just talking. She was leaning into me and we hugged.
It was too cold and we headed to hang out in her car, while I warmed up my car. At that moment, I knew I really liked this woman, and I leaned in, and held her face in my hands, and we kissed. She would later admit to me that it was this very moment that she wanted me in her life and she loved me.
We dated and would hang out after work with each other. It was like being with my best friend, who I wanted to talk to and share everything with. She would do anything for me and I was willing to do anything for her. Making love to her was ultimate bliss. She was my everything and the only woman who ever understood me and totally supported me.
She was a woman who saw through all my bullshit, who didn’t say I was a “nice guy” because I wasn’t. I was an asshole, just like her, or at least, I could be and so could she. She made me realize that all the girls who said I was “too nice” or “a nice guy” had no idea who I was, and it was probably best that they didn’t get to know me.
I believe the policy at work was that there was no fraternizing with co-workers, and so we went into hiding at work, and would only show PDA outside of work or in the home. We would have lunch together, but we refused to let anyone see us holding hands or making out in public. This was done to avoid people recognizing us and making it a big deal. Yet we did everything together. This went on for months and at least a year, until we both up and left the job.
Fortunately, we both got another job working at home, and I had moved in with her. We had no worries because no one would see us. This went on for over a year, until my job relocated both of us across the country and into an office. Unfortunately, over the course of living with her and her children for a year and a half, it felt as if we had both grown apart and distant, and so I made the call that it would be best if we were no longer together. It was a heavy decision on my heart, but one that I thought would be best. She did not agree, but supported my decision. I wanted to just be friends, but it didn’t work that way.
I was the first to move across the country and she soon followed. We still worked together but did not communicate very much, as we tried to avoid it, as the pain was almost unbearable. For 3 months, we communicated very little, and it was hard. I still loved her in my heart and I knew she loved me. I lost my best friend and it felt like death and I certainly cried many nights. I knew she was going through the same thing.
Finally, she moved across the country with her children. At work, we did not know the policy, but we figured we would still work together as best as we could, without anyone knowing. No one needed to know. For several weeks, we did not speak a whole lot, though she did ask for my help for several things and I gladly assisted. Then we began just taking walks with each other, talking about what went wrong in our relationship. I knew I wanted her back and I was seeing if she still loved me. She admitted that she did miss me, but maybe it was best that we were apart.
I, unfortunately, did not agree with her decision, and figured it might be best if we try dating again. I knew we could not be friends, but if we tried dating, it might help. We started dating, taking things slowly, with no sexual interaction. It would be at least a month before we even got more intimately involved again, but our talks, our walks, and hanging out with each other helped a lot visiting new places, going on dates, etc. We renewed our experiences, created new ones, and even created distance to miss each other. It took a long time for our trust in each other to be built again, but it was there, and it came back. It could be felt in our intimacy with each other and our bond with each other. I fell in love with her all over again and she fell in love with me.
I asked her to marry me and I am happy to say though, that for now, I am in love with my wife.
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