Matthew Gates 9m 1,317 #cleaning
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
Cleaning For Lazy People
Author Note: When I attempted to find a stock photo of a husband and wife cleaning, which is encouraged, I could only find them smiling. Now it is great for a husband and wife to be cleaning together as it makes for a happier relationship. However, I found it hard to believe that anyone actually smiles while they are cleaning, even if you are cleaning with your spouse. Cleaning people usually just have that face of, “damn slobs.”
Almost no one in the history of mankind has ever said, “I love cleaning so much I could do this everyday!” It is likely that even the people that work as cleaners, they may do a great job at work, but get into their home, and wow, yeah, no. Just like everyone else. Neglect. You just cleaned all day at work, why the hell would you want to clean at home? So your house might suffer a bit. At least everything is good at your job!
You know you aren’t the most dirty person in the world, but you aren’t the most cleanest. Whether you live alone or with people and you have a family to clean up after, you really hate it. No one else wants to help you and if they do, you usually end up cleaning up after them again, so it is almost better you just do it by yourself. Clean rooms tend to be dirty rooms before you know it. You hate it. You hate everyday that you have to clean. You hate the fact that your house barely stays clean for more than 10 minutes. You hate the fact that tomorrow, it is going to look exactly like it did today. You keep wondering why you clean up after yourself and everyone else when it is just going to look like that tomorrow. No matter what you do, no matter how many people you tell, no matter how many meetings you call to discuss cleanliness and organization with the family, the results are the same. You are exhausted and have clean burnout.
Is this your life? Is this really it? Life should not be about cleaning up after others. However, this does not mean cleaning should never happen. You usually clean up after yourself. You are trying to teach the other people in your house to do the same. But you know that in order to have some semblance of happiness, you have to have the peace of mind that your house is clean, so you choose to clean it. You yell at everyone.
You do everything in your power to make the people in your house understand you. You are overwhelmed, frustrated, and you constantly come off as a mean person because you are yelling at everyone because you are tired of cleaning up after them. It is exhausting. Worst of all, no one is paying you to do this job. If they were, you’d be somewhere close to a million dollars by now. Secretly, you can’t wait until some of them move out cough… not mentioning any names —kids.
You tell everyone to at least rinse their dishes and then put them in the dishwasher, yet it keeps not happening. You question the intelligence of the very offspring you spawned and wonder why they can’t just keep it clean. You wonder how you ever married a person who is kind of a slob. You love your family, but you hate that they are basically pigs. You feel like you live in a pig sty and the only time your house is ever clean is when you have company for holiday and ask everyone just to keep it together for a few hours.
You might even have friends whose houses are just as messy as yours, and no one cares anymore. You do your best to at least keep it looking decent. Good job. But deep down, you just want to be lazy like everyone else. Unfortunately, you are the only one who cares how it looks.
We have a simple solution for you when it comes to cleaning your house.
Okay, the easiest thing you could probably do is hire someone to come clean for you, clean up after you, and clean up after your family. After all, many people do hire house cleaners who come in a few times a week to make sure everything is good enough for show and to live. Unfortunately, these people are usually somewhat wealthy and you cannot afford it. You also really do not feel comfortable with having someone clean up after you and your family.
So the next solution is this: Be lazy while cleaning.
What do I mean by that, exactly?
Let’s break this down into some nice easy-to-read steps:
- Understand that the house does not need to be cleaned every single day.
- It is impossible to keep it clean the way you imagine. Don’t live in it and you will get to see it the way you want.
- After you understand this, know that everything does not have to be cleaned immediately.
- Know the number of rooms you have to clean in your house.
- Count a bathrooms as a room.
- Hallways and other small areas also count as rooms.
- Pull out a sheet of paper or a calendar and pick up a pen.
- Figure out which day of the month starts your cleaning day.
- From that day, you will be cleaning ONE room per day or per night.
- That is it!
- This one room is your complete PRIORITY.
- This room, for this day, is your ONLY PRIORITY.
- DO NOT CLEAN ANY OTHER ROOM IN THE HOUSE THAT DAY.
- DO NOT CLEAN ANYMORE THAN ONE ROOM.
- Tomorrow, you will choose another room, and the day after that, another room.
- You will clean one room per day until you have no more rooms left.
- Once you finish, hopefully it took less than a week.
- Don’t do it again until your cleaning start date.
- You may still clean in an emergency, such as spills, or whatever the case may be.
- Just don’t sweat the cleaning as you know you will be cleaning again next month.
- If you feel less lazy:
- Increase it to every other week
- If you feel even less lazy:
- Increase it to every week
- Some rooms will need to probably be cleaned more than once a week
- Wherever the kids hang out most
Cleaning is probably one of the most unappealing things to do. Cleaning up after yourself, you can manage. Cleaning up after others? No one wakes up everyday and thinks, “I just love cleaning for other people!” Maybe cooking and baking, but not cleaning. Sure, most mothers will admit, “I clean because I love my family.” Hardly the mutual respect, I can respect that, you have such unconditional love. Hopefully they do too when they get older.
By sticking to this method, you will not burn out by cleaning. You can feel more relaxed. You can feel comfortable with your house. You can feel somewhat more comfortable with your family being the slobs they are. Hopefully they will learn your methods. Eventually, they will have to learn something. May as well teach them while you’re at it. Unless you’re going to be someone who goes and cleans their apartments or houses for them.
Yeah… right. It is far easier to clean one room every day than to worry about a bunch of rooms. You will clean a lot better, as you can focus on cleaning one room at a time. Just as you focus on cleaning one spot or one area at a time, and it gets cleaned the way you want, so too, shall the room eventually be cleaned before you know it. Give it a try, what’s the worst that is going to happen? Your house… gets clean more slowly?