Arabella Alice http://www.pro-academic.co.uk 3m 673 #angermanagement
The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
How To Keep Your Cool Around Your Child
More often than not, every parent gets angry at their child. It may be that your child isn’t listening to you when you have strictly advised him against doing a particular thing or that he didn’t do well in his exams or that he misbehaved in front of your guests. We scold them or at times hit them but it is to make them better as a person.
Still how to control your anger when your child does something to tick you off, read on to find out below.
Set limits before you get angry
We have to define limits before you should get angry at our children. By limits, it means till where you will allow a particular behavior as acceptable and beyond that, you will get angry. Communicate this to your child that, although, my father or mother won’t get mad at me but I should avoid this act altogether.
As a parent, you should warn your child that a certain behavior is getting past irritating and is becoming increasingly annoying. The trick is to talk first before losing your cool, after all, they are your children. Getting angry at them should be a last resort.
Calm yourself down before you take action
It is difficult to calm yourself when you are boiling with anger but with practice, you can harness the power of self-control. When you have decided that enough is enough or this is it! Having witnessed your child’s behavior, wait a minute and take a deep breath. This pause for a minute will offer you a chance to calm down.
Ask yourself, do I really want to subject myself to the emotion of anger or can I sort this any other way? See if this is really an emergency that if I don’t angry it will be a matter of life and death? Such questions will help you calm down. And if no one of these work, force a smile on your face and it will send a signal to your brain that it’s really alright.
Take five
A state of anger can be the worst state anyone can find himself in. So, when it comes to your children, this should be avoided at all costs. Anger takes hold of you and clouds your judgment. Thus it is advisable to take five. Just leave that place and come back to address the situation when you have taken time off.
This does not mean that you condone the act of your child or that he has won. It is only for five minutes that you have gone to avoid lashing out at him. You should probably drink some water or splash some water on your face in the bathroom to cool down. You can take deep breaths as well to come back to normal state. Sit down on a sofa with your child and talk about how the behavior could be curtailed or a situation could have been avoided.
Listen to your anger, rather than acting on it
It is said that you don’t get angry, you choose to get angry. As parents you are in an authoritative position and can do whatever to your child but imagine if it your boss at work and he shouts on you for your poor work, would you lash back at him? Of course not!
Therefore, listen to your anger instead of acting on it right away. Again remember, solutions can be reached by simply talking with the other party. Tell your child that you won’t entertain such behavior or habits in the future in a polite manner. You control your anger and it comes out or diminishes depending on how you choose to channelize it.
About the Author
ABC is a student of psychology and often blogs on the subject of social psychology. He can be contacted for help with buy dissertation and for further updates you can follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.
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