The views of this article are the perspective of the author and may not be reflective of Confessions of the Professions.
What are you getting for your darling this year? For single people, Valentine’s Day can mean either two things: Single Appreciate Day or I’m Single Day. It could also be argued that its just a Hallmark Holiday used to boost business for Hallmark. While this is true, it still doesn’t excuse the fact that people who are in a relationship shouldn’t take the day to appreciate each other. It is more a holiday for women to be appreciated, but when done right, both couples can actually be appreciated on this day.
Nonetheless, there is no excuse for any husband, boyfriend, significant other, or partner not to show their appreciation for the one they love on this day, Valentine’s Day. It could be as simple as a card, flowers, or dinner. It could even lead to a romantic evening.
If you’re born in November, like me, it is likely that if you go back 9 months, you’ll find that you are probably a V-Day baby… your dad got lucky, did something right – for once, and you were probably conceived around February 14th.
With years invested into a relationship, gifts should be more well thought out. Certainly in the beginning, it is great to get your lovely lady a card, flowers, and dinner. As you get more comfortable with each other, you might buy sex toys, lingerie, treat her to a bath/spa, or quite possibly, an engagement ring. Avoid not getting anything. Avoid telling her that it’s a stupid holiday. Avoid getting a tattoo with her name on it. Avoid getting her the flatscreen television she’s told you she wants. Avoid getting her gift cards. While these gifts might be thoughtful, there is a time and a place for everything. Except for the tattoo. Just don’t do it.
No matter what you do, think about all the things your lovely woman or man does for you, and put some effort into your gift. You may ignore the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day, if you really don’t want to give into the hype. You may even celebrate the day before or after, but she or he will appreciate anything you do, regardless of the day. Your gift can be inexpensive such as a homemade dinner. You could even find a beauty parlor in your area and set your significant other up for a pedicure and a manicure – it goes both ways. For men – you should try a pedicure – it’s not as gay as you think – it’s upkeep – trust me, she isn’t saying anything, but she’ll appreciate your nice looking toes and soft feet. Accept her gift if she does that for you. She’ll definitely appreciate you doing it for her. Your thoughtful gift idea is up to you. It is the thought that counts. Happy Valentine’s Day!
This infographic covers what your Valentine’s Day gift says about you.
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WHAT YOUR VALENTINE’S DAY GIFT SAYS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
A little cliché considering the day but who the hell cares? It’s the ultimate symbol of love, and commitment. Plus, it’ll make all your friends green with envy.
Verdict: Your commitment to each other reminds us all what Valentine’s Day is all about.
Whether it’s a mix tape, some original poetry, or a coupon book full of thoughtful gifts like free massages and car washes performed by your lover, this gift is from the heart, and it shows that your significant other truly cares about you. Remember: Always look at the merchandise, never the price tag.
Verdict: Your relationship has a solid foundation of mutual respect and love. Cherish it.
There are few things better than the chance to spend a romantic weekend tucked away with your significant other. That’s true love.
Verdict: You two are adventurous, fun, and like spending time together; a great recipe for success.
Home Cooked Meal
Food is seductive. Food prepared by your lover is downright decadent. Savor each bite, and when the meal is over, you won’t have to travel far to have dessert.
Verdict: Yours is a down to earth relationship that you can sink your teeth into. <em>Bon appétit.
This is a go-to gift for a reason – precious stones are rare valuable, and long lasting, just like your relationship. (Add 15 degrees if the jewelry is personal and unique. Subtract 20 degrees if it’s a half-a-heart necklace.)
Verdict: Your relationship sparkles for all the world to see.
Out to Dinner
While not exactly the most original choice, a night out at a high-end restaurant can be a feast for the senses, and an opportunity for both of you to six back, relax, and get to know each other all over again. And no, Olive Garden doesn’t count.
Verdict: Your relationship doesn’t need constant thrills to remain satisfying. Here’s a toast to the slow simmer that can last a lifetime.
Always a gamble, but if your partner knows you well enough to get something you’d like, this can be a flirty gift that makes you feel like a Victoria’s Secret model. If they miss the mark, it can lead to a very chilly Valentine’s night.
Verdict: Your partner is trying to spice up your relationship, and you need to do your part. Unless you’re just not into it anymore…?
Flowers are an easy-to-buy gift that requires little thought or planning. Not the best message to be sending on this special day for the two of you. (Add 15 degrees if combined with one of the above gifts. Subtract 15 degrees if still in the grocery store plastic.)
Verdict: The flowers may survive longer than your relationship if you don’t make some significant changes.
Bath / Spa Gifts
It may be a bottle of your favorite fragrance, or a certificate for an hour long massage, and while both are nice, they don’t score any points for originality or intimacy.
Verdict: A tepid gift for a tepid relationship. While it amy be comfortable, it certainly isn’t a storybook romance.
This is the Valentine’s gift your Dad always got your Mom, seining by the nearest drug store on his way home from work that day. Probably not your vision of the perfect relationship.
Verdict: Don’t be fooled – these sweets are trying to cover up the bland nature of your relationship.
Appliances are anything practical: a blender, a phone, a backpack, et cetera. This is not the time to get your sweetie something they need; this is when you get them something they desire.
Verdict: The romance is quickly raining from your relationship; time to plug the leak; or else abandon ship.
This is the type of gift you give your aunt for Christmas; no thought or effort required. Makes you wonder how much effort you should be putting into this relationship.
Verdict: Drop your lazy lover and shop for other candidates.
If you unwrap your gift to find one of those cheesy, custom printed romance novels where the lead characters are named after you, you’re either 15, or your significant other is kind of creepy. (Subtract 15 degrees if your characters are vampires.)
Verdict: Time to drive a stake through the heart of this relationship.
Stupid Sex Gifts
Edible undies, glow in the dark bras, porn movies, and the like are for bachelors/bachelorette parties, not Valentine’s Day.
Verdict: Send your significant other back to the frat house. They’re not ready for a serious relationship.
Surprising you with Kung Pao on a random Tuesday is sweet; on Valentine’s Day, it’s just plain lazy. Time to throw this relationship out with the leftover rice and chopsticks.
Verdict: Our fortune cookie says you deserve better.
Your significant other is one of those hard-wired independent types who thinks Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a superficial greeting card company holiday. Lucky you.
Verdict: Find someone who can put their personal biasses aside and give you what you need once in a while.
Tattoo Of Your Name
Congratulations, you’re dating a psycho! Where a few many see this as the ultimate expression of love and commitment, most see it as creepy and demented. (Subtract 50 degrees if the tattoo also contains your face.)
Verdict: Tell them you love it, then slowly back away and run as fast as you can.
Matthew Gates is a freelance web designer and currently runs Confessions of the Professions.